Green gas (station)? Good Grief!

Charlie Brown said it best, and with feeling: “Good grief.” My lovely wife made sure I saw an article in the paper this week about a “green” gas station. And no, I don’t mean that’s the color they painted the building. They do honestly believe they have an environmentally conscientious gas station. And they say that with a straight face. Good grief, indeed.

The commercial establishment of note is the Bayshore Breeze Mobil station, on the northwest corner of Alt. US 19 and Curlew Road in north Dunedin, Florida. Having just undergone a major renovation, the rebuilt structure has attained a “green business certification” from something called the Green Business League. (I’m picturing something akin to the Munchkins’ Lollipop League, but maybe a little taller.) All I can offer in their defense, and it isn’t much, is this: It’s not really a gas station anymore. It was before they rebuilt it. It had repair bays and broken cars parked around it and mechanics and everything a real gas station is supposed to have. Now it’s just a convenience store with gas pumps. But is it green?

“What makes the gas station green,” the article states, “is in the details.” Such as? All gas appliances, they say. Since when is natural gas green? It’s a non-renewable natural resource like oil and uranium. I could never figure out why we call it “natural gas.” As opposed to what? We don’t call it natural coal or natural oil, do we? Again: Good grief.

The article mentioned that “a special spray foam insulation” was used to insulate the building, but no mention of what it really was. Was it oil-based? No idea. My guess is yes, but who knows? They are using LED lighting and solar tubes – so I’ll give them the “green light” on those. The flooring is made from recycled tires, so they get another greenie point (as opposed to a brownie point) there. They plan to use non-toxic cleaning products, and use the air conditioner’s water run-off for the plants. Sure, why not. But why not design the building to not need the air conditioning in the first place? Ah, well.

The gas station is about nine miles north of me, so I may pedal up that way one day next week and check it out. Hey, I’m all for green – even light green. The article had a photo at the top of the front of the new gas station. The sign above the door reads “Bayshore Breeze Market & Grill.” Some gas station. And you know what I don’t see in the photo? A bike rack.

Some green. MTT279FQ9HAW

So, what's your plan?

I had a great kick off last month with my first book signing for Peak of the Devil at the Dunedin (Florida) public library. There was a lively crowd and we had a lot of fun. The event coordinator’s mother (age 93) was there early, stayed late, and was a joy to talk to both before and after the event. I spoke for about a half-hour or so and then took questions. And boy, did the crowd have questions. Mostly, they had very good questions. Mostly.

At some point toward the end of the evening, a fellow about four rows back wanted to make sure I knew that T. Boone Pickens was going to save America by converting the nation’s entire trucking fleet to natural gas. I tried to point out that natural gas was simply another non-renewable natural resource, and that it would seem unlikely that the trucking industry (not to mention the fuel industry) would embrace T. Boone’s cunning plan.

He would hear none of it. T. Boone was All That to him, and T. Boone was going to save us. (The “T.” stands for Thomas, by the way.) There was no arguing with him, so I didn’t. I couldn’t. I’ve seen this near-religious devotion to Mr. Pickens before. He’s sort of like a Basset-faced Ron Paul in that regard. I do find that sort of unquestioning devotion odd, to say the least, and expect a religion to pop up around the both of them any minute now, if it hasn’t already. Of course my wife, the lovely and ever-supportive JoAnn, was in the last row, well behind this guy, quite literally doubled over in her chair laughing. I just love it when I can bring a smile to her face. I live for those warm moments. But I couldn’t look at her without cracking up myself. Thank you, my dear.

Friends, I honestly do not believe that Mister Thomas Boone Pickens is going to save America. T. Boone’s number one goal in life is to take good care of T. Boone. Period. The man did not make his considerable fortune by being magnanimous. I do not believe that natural gas is going to save us, but yes, I do worry about the nation’s trucking industry. We rely on those long-haul trucks for just about everything. We really are going to need them, as it doesn’t look as though we’re going to get our ducks lined up when it comes to upgrading the nation’s rail system, which would help take the burden off the truckers as diesel fuel gets both expensive and scarce. (Trains offer a far more efficient tons-hauled-per mile than trucks.) I just don’t see the trucking industry converting to natural gas any time soon. Like, ever. Sorry, T. Boone.

Do I recall correctly that liquefied natural gas, as used in converted motor vehicles, contains less energy per volume than gasoline? That a vehicle running on said gas gets worse fuel economy because of it? If so, it makes no sense at all to convert from one depleting natural resource to another you’d need more of just to break even. I seriously doubt we are in any position to ramp up our natural gas extraction to be able to supply the trucking industry on a scale that would do any good, and I’m not even getting into the annoyance of converting a portion of the nation’s fuel delivery infrastructure (gas stations and truck stops) to be able to fill up all of those trucks with LNG nationwide. It would be a nightmare. Of course, ol’ T. Boone wraps it all up in Old Glory and says we have to stop buying oil from people that hate us and declare our energy independence. At least he got that part right, but I also suspect that it will happen soon enough no matter what we do. Peak oil, remember? Yeah, peak oil.

Oh, and the punch line to the evening: The noisy guy didn’t even buy a book. Big shock there, huh?

The Real Problem with Peak Oil

The biggest problem with peak oil isn’t peak oil. It’s us. All of us. All seven billion of us. We have absolutely no Plan B, and too few of us (hardly any of us) understand that time is fast running out for Plan A. I have long said that Americans are lousy planners, but great at responding to a crisis. Man, I sure hope I’m right about that, because we have done zero planning for this one. We are barreling right along into the greatest crisis man has ever had to face, and too many of us (all of us) are flying blind with the throttles wide open. We haven’t got a plan and we haven’t got a clue.

Peak oil is going to catch everyone off base – even people that think they know what’s going on. (I only pretend to know, but at least I know I’m pretending.) None of us have any idea how hard this will hit or when. Too few understand that it will hit at all, and too many still deny it. If my book gets more people interested enough to ask questions, please: ASK QUESTIONS. Ask your local elected and appointed officials: What are they doing to get ready for this? Ask at every level of government: What about peak oil? Chances are you’re going to get little more than a blank stare, a smarmy government smile and an answer that has nothing to do with the question at all. Keep asking. Especially as we go into the next big presidential election cycle for 2012.

The only government in North America I know of right now that has done any serious study at all on peak oil and what they are facing is the City of Portland, Oregon. By all means, do get a copy of the Portland Peak Oil Task Force report and get it into the hands of your local officials. No, they probably won’t read it, but you did what you could. (And do read that report yourself.) The words “peak oil” need to be as annoyingly common as “drill, baby, drill” was awhile back. We need to hear the words “peak oil” being said. A lot.

There is no IQ test to run for public office. (That kind of explains just about everything right there, doesn’t it?) Elected officials are no smarter than the rest of us. (Even being AS smart would be a step in the right direction.) We all use the same Magic 8 Ball to help guide us through life. I do not expect my government to save me from peak oil. I do not expect to be able to save my government from same. But we have to at least try. Make the effort. At least ask.

Oil Cuba China Oil

I’m lousy at predicting the future, but I can tell you with some certainty what’s coming soon in the wacky world of offshore oil. Even though the US government has dropped the ban on offshore drilling in US waters, look for everyone and their sock monkeys to be all up in arms before long over what’s happening south of Key West. And what IS happening south of Key West? They are getting ready to drill for oil off shore. So what’s the problem?

It’s Cuba.

Cuba is in the process of offering up offshore oil leases to foreign countries to begin exploring and drilling for oil off of their northwest coast — the coast closest to Key West. These new offshore rigs have the potential to be as close to Key West as the Deepwater Horizon rig was to Louisiana. The only thing is, these new rigs aren’t going to be run by BP. They will be Chinese.

Now you’d better believe there will be plenty of people on the north side of the Florida Straits all spit-flustered over this one, even though it ain’t our oil and it ain’t our ocean. Their waters, their oil, their call, and there isn’t a thing we can do about it. Jack Kennedy is long gone, and we’re not talking Soviet ICBMs here. Still, too many people here in the US tend to get possessive over anyone’s oil, especially when it’s not ours.

Now there’s no doubt that Cuba could use the oil and the income. Even The Bearded One himself recently admitted that the communist thing wasn’t working so well for them these days. Who knows? Maybe a spanking new oil industry will give them the boost they need to dig themselves out of their own red menace and join the real world, already in progress. That would be cool. A free Cuba would be a dream come true for a great many people. But probably not for the Chinese.

The downside of having the Chinese involved in the Cuban oil industry is their presence in the event of any meaningful change in Cuba. This is setting the stage for a very nasty chess game on a very small board. I can see where China would do all it could to keep Cuba communist to protect their investment in the Cuban oil industry, to the point of sending armed troops. And I think I speak for even the most laid back of Parrotheads when I say that Communist Chinese troops in North America should NOT be taken lightly.

For now, the Cuban oil industry is just getting started. It will take some years for the offshore rigs to be put in place, the wells to be drilled and the oil to be pumped. I would like to think that means there is still time for America to reverse some 60 years of total political idiocy and begin a meaningful dialogue with Cuba that could result in us having some sort of stake and share in what we cannot stop. It’s time for us to grow a brain and treat Cuba with the respect we offer any other country.

Like, say, China.

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Good News, Bad News

Good news: I have more time to ride my bicycle these days. Bad news: I have more time to ride my bicycle. But let me tell you, we are not a nation of good drivers. Out on a bike, you get to see far more cars and drivers than you would if you kept up with traffic, and that is not a good thing. There was a time when we took pride in our driving skills. Those times are gone – long gone. Now driving is just something that happens while we are talking, texting or doing any number of other things we shouldn’t be doing while we are driving. And even if we are doing nothing but driving, we still don’t quite seem to have the hang of it. And yes, I do lump myself in there, but at least I admit I’m not that good.

However, I do notice something every time we see a spike in gas prices: As a gallon of regular gas tops $3.00, people don’t drive cautious – they drive mean. If you're like me, out there on a bicycle, mean is not good. Mean can be deadly. I can’t imagine what I’ll see on the roads if gas goes above $5.00. Or $10.00. Wow. The future’s looking kinda ugly, ain’t it?

But hey, my new book about peak oil, Peak of the Devil, is on sale and I'm doing radio interviews all over North America! Go team! I have a feeling I’m kind of a shock to the talk radio hosts, as I have no fear. None. I spent seven years in tights on the stage at the local Renaissance Festival, juggling machetes, double-blade axes and fire torches. I have nothing to fear from a radio host 3,000 miles away. So if you are up for a giggle, click here to check the schedule on my web site, and tune in if you can.

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Peak of the Devil should be in every public library and recreation centre. It’s a great introduction to the topic. . . .there is much genius within the pages, a great deal of perceptive and subtle thinking.

— Matthew Wild, Energy Bulletin

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Oh, bother.

This coming Thursday, September 30, will be my last day at a job I have held for over twenty-one years. My lay-off has nothing to do with peak oil, but it is still traumatic. Overwhelmingly so. I’m in the process of getting set up to work at home, and my new full-time job is “writer”. (It has been my part-time position up until now.) So, if there’s a slight lag in my blog entries here, please forgive me. If you're really missing me, you might check out my upcoming media schedule because...

In better news, Peak of the Devil will be officially released the following day, this Friday, October First. 10/01/10. Wow. I can’t wait to see how it does and how it is received once it’s out there. And of course I’ll read the reviews on Amazon. (So please be kind.) Is this the right book for the right time? I really do think so. Oil is in the news more and more, and more people are starting to understand that there’s more to the problem than just a spill or two. The big picture is grim, and getting worse. Welcome to the peak of that devil.

As of this morning, I have three more days in my old job. It’s weird. The office vultures have already started to circle, checking out our desks and chairs and stuff — to see what they want to grab before the seat cushions cool off. My cubicle, once festooned with bicycle posters as well as bicycles, is absolutely bare. Most of the drawers are empty. I could, right now, pick up three things, walk out the door and never look back. Except, I have to say, I really liked this job. I understand where Lot’s wife was coming from. I will look back.

With my new job as writer, I will most certainly have more time to write. I’ve another non-fiction book I’d like to write this winter, and ideas for a couple of novels I’d be delighted to beat out of a willing keyboard. If my new full-time job is writer, my new part-time job is going to be “find an agent for my fiction.” If there’s anyone out there that wants to be my fiction agent, drop me a line and we’ll talk. I have finished two novels, a stage play with 17 original songs, and a short story (about peak oil!) that knocked ‘em dead in Maine a few years ago. And, of course, I want to write more. But I need an agent for my fiction. Anyone? Anyone?

Let’s end this on the most incredible high note possible: Last week I received a hand-written note from Harper Lee. That, to me, is like having God show up at your birthday party to give you a puppy. Whew.

The Germans get it in one

So there’s a new report out on peak oil, leaked from a German military think tank. The report spells out the dire consequences of peak oil, and says this is it: It happened this year. It’s tough to argue with the Germans. They tend to get their facts straight and don’t go in for a lot of sugar coating. I tend to believe them.

Historically, the German military has always had a major stake and interest in oil. During the middle of the 20th century, when half of the German military was on a road trip through scenic Russia and the other half was on a working vacationing in France, the folks back home were saddled with the important task of keeping everyone moving right along - without oil. They worked very hard to develop synthetic oil, and found then what we know now: Yeah, you can do it. You can make synthetic oil, but: It’s very expensive, labor intensive, takes a lot time and it’s difficult, if not impossible, to make all you need. So now, when the Germans say we’ve reached peak oil, I do think they know of what they speak. I also think, for Germans, they are being wildly optimistic. That doesn’t seem like them at all.

Well, no matter what, now another precinct weighs in. The Germans say it happened this year. I said it happened in 2005, but I admit mine was just a barely educated guess. By the time you feel it, by the time you see it, the actual date of peak oil won’t matter at all. People who have studied peak oil for years often argue whether it will be a fast crash or a slow crash as the oil goes away. My answer is that it will be a slow crash until it gets to you. Then it’s going to seem mighty fast.

In the meantime, it was good to see the Germans say something about it publicly, even if the report was leaked. As for me, I’m just happy to be able to report the report, and to be able to offer up Basil Fawlty’s most famous quote: “I mentioned the war once, but I think I got away with it.”